You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
