Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
