I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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