I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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