we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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