His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
