Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
