she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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