ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
