Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
