"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just invented taco cereal.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
