Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
did i just pee glitter
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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