If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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