Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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