You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
