I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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