Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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