There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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