Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
