he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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