your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
