over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
