Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
