hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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