the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
