They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You were trust falling into bushes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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