One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize