we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm too high and old for this...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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