woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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