He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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