So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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