Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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