its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
