My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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