I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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