drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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