The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
