My first STD was from a foam party
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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