please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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