dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
