I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
