Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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