Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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