Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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