I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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