after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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