No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
