I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
