btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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