You kept calling me your small dog last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
