I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
