I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
