I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed