oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
