Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize