Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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