I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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