Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
