Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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