His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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